It is so easy to say unkind things to one another, especially when we are hurting. Maybe you’re angry with someone over something and you use that opportunity to say nasty things and inflict pain on that person.
When you’re angry, when you’re hurting, when you’re in pain, it torments you; it’s painful. Maybe your spouse, sibling, or people around you did something to you and you’re in pain. Maybe you’ve been betrayed and there’s a lot of pain, anger and hurt right there in your heart; it can be very distressing. And whenever you can say it out and throw it out at someone, it makes you feel better. Usually when we vent, when we lash out at someone we tend to feel better. You become relieved in the moment; but that is weakness. That is a very weak way to live.
You actually don’t have to vent on people. You don’t have to lash out at people. In the new creation, God gave us the spirit of self-control so we can rein in our emotions.
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.”
~ Galatians 5: 22-23
You have to exercise self-control in your dealings with people. You know just like in soccer: When the ball is shot, the player traps it with his chest; and by so doing, they slow down the momentum, they slow down the speed; and then they channel the ball more creatively into the goal post.
So no matter how much you are hurting, don’t just spew out words.
Husbands must be careful what they say to their wives.
Wives must be careful what they say to their husbands.
Parents must be careful what they say to their children.
Children must be careful what they say to their parents.
If you’re a boss you must be careful what you say to your staff.
Be careful what you say to people.