If you are a child of God, and therefore a new creation, it is important that you don’t do anything in the flesh. As people of the spirit, we must strive to always build according to God’s word. Your family should be built on the foundation of God’s word.
I have two powerful models for what a strong family looks like: Abraham’s family as shown in the scriptures, and my biological family. What makes a family godly and strong is not that its members came out of the same womb, or that they share the same biological blood. I want to say this to you: Families that are built on the basis of blood don’t have an identity and don’t leave a legacy. They turn out average. But the families that we celebrate today, those whose names continue to endure, are families that were built upon certain core principles, values, messages and teachings.
“While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, ‘Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.’ He replied to him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers? Pointing to His disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.
~Matthew12:46-50
Essentially, Jesus was saying, “I have a doctrine, a teaching, and a set of principles; those who believe in and live by them are my family. I do not recognize those standing outside as family, even though I came out of the same womb with them.”
Personally, I’ve been walking in this truth all my life, and that’s one reason I enjoy the peace, blessings and manifestations of God without stress. I chose a long time ago that my biological children will not be my family just because my wife, Sharon, gave birth to them; but because they walk in my ways. A lot of times in our family devotions, I’ve told them that if they don’t walk according to the principles of God, then some other person who does will be my family while they’ll be outside. That’s basically what Jesus was saying in the above scripture.
Take time to meditate on this truth and make sure you fully understand it. To build a godly and strong family, you must first of all be established firmly in what you believe. You must know exactly what you believe. If you are a young man or woman and you are yet to start a family — whatever kind of family — you must ask yourself, “What do I really believe? What do I stand for?” The answers to these questions must be definite in your mind. You should know them with certainty. Then build your family on the basis of your beliefs and values.