How to Attract the Right Man for Marriage

attract the right man for marriage

Attract the right man for marriage by applying the 12 very effective tips presented in this article.

Are all the wrong people approaching you for marriage?

Is your problem that the men that approach you for marriage are not the types you would want to marry, whereas the types you would love to marry seem not to notice you?

What should you do to attract the right man for marriage?

In this article, I’ll show you 12 practical steps you can take to attract the right man for marriage.

#1.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must know, understand and be who you are.

One of the toughest challenges that young ladies face in their quest for marriage, is the inability to attract the right man for marriage.

“My problem is that the men that approach me for marriage are not the types I would want to marry, whereas the types I would love to marry seem not to notice me.”

Research shows that the above dilemma is common among ladies of marriageable age.

Why Does this happen?

Why is it that the men that approach you for marriage are not the types you would want to marry, whereas the types you would love to marry seem not to notice you?

First of all, what you see here is the Law of Attraction at work.  This Law states that you attract who you are, not who you want. 

Another way to look at it is this, ‘Birds of a feather flock together.

However, this law is a paradox!  This is because it is almost impossible to want something that is not compatible with who you are.  Your wants come out of your mental conditioning.  You want what you consider valuable. In other words, what you want is invariably connected to some sort of scale of preference in your mind.  Your ‘wanting’ is an aspect of your attitude or mentality.  And because ‘as a man thinketh in himself, so is he,’ your mentality is synonymous with your personality.

If you desire to attract the right man for marriage, you must understand that what you want is an integral aspect of who you are.

To attract the right man for marriage know, understand and be who you are.

As a Christian, your true self is that person you see when you look at Jesus Christ!  He is your mirror.

Never allow the world push you around and tell you who you’re supposed to be. Putting on a false social mask just to please everyone else, is unnecessary if you’re looking for a lasting relationship.

Be who God has said you are!

#2.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must tell yourself the right things.

To attract the right man for marriage, tell yourself the right things.

What do you believe about yourself?  What are you telling yourself?

You may be programming yourself for failure with negative thoughts.

For example, if you’ve told yourself that “all good men are taken,” then you’ve labeled the people coming to you as ‘left-overs’ even before they make their appearance!

Your pre-determined beliefs, which you may not even be conscious of, can be destructive.

Seven percent of communication is what you say, and the other 93 percent is non-verbal. That 93 percent screams your “personal truth,” what you really believe about yourself when nobody is looking. If you’re carrying baggage — insecurities, fear, desperation — people can tell.

So change the things you tell yourself about yourself, so that you can begin to attract the right man for marriage.

#3.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must recognize that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be whole  

To attract the right man for marriage, recognize that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be whole.

A lot of times, we are looking for something that we don’t have in ourselves.  We are looking for someone that has something we lack and need. As good as this may look, it is very dangerous.  Do you yearn to be married because you believe it will make you feel complete? Understand that marriage doesn’t complete you. If you think you need to be half of a couple to be all of who you are, you’re engaging in “wrong thinking.” You don’t need to be half of a couple to be complete.

It is much better to find wholeness and completeness in God.  That way, you are focused on your own contributions, rather on what you need.  It is often true that when you are complete in God all by yourself, you become more attractive and appealing to a broad range of personalities, including the type that you want!

Besides, it is better to be happy alone than sick with someone else. The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself.

#4.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must never act desperate

It can hardly be emphasized that desperation is a repulsive quality – it puts people off.  Don’t act desperate.

To attract the right man for marriage, don’t put pressure on yourself. You don’t have to be married. It’s not required.

Stop telling yourself you have to get a ring on your finger.

Send a message that you “want to” be in a relationship — not that you’ve “got to.”

Even if you hear your biological clock, it need not tick loudly enough for every eligible man to hear it!

Keep in mind that if you are desperate to get married, you could be giving out signals that are actually scaring away the opposite sex. Seven percent of communication is verbal and the other 93 percent is nonverbal. What kinds of nonverbal signals might you be sending out regarding commitment?

When you feel the pressure of time, you can make mistakes, overlook important details, or misjudge someone.

#5. To attract the right man for marriage, you must take time to define and clarify what you want or desire in a husband. 

It is  possible to attract what you want and not know it simply because you don’t understand your ‘want’.  One reason the men that approach you for marriage (apparently) are not the types you would want to marry, whereas the types you would love to marry seem not to notice you, is your ignorance of exactly what it is that you want!

So, in order to attract the right man for marriage, it is important to take time to define and clarify what you want or desire in a husband.

A lady once told me that the most important thing she desired in a would-be husband was he would let her continue to be a part of her church. She wanted someone that would not interfere with her ministry, responsibilities, and commitments to her church.  In short, someone that would give her room to be herself.

We were in a small group discussion when she said this and as the discussion went on, we inquired about the men that were already in the picture.  Of course, they were not her ‘type’ for several reasons.  Some were not from her state of origin.  Others were not sensitive or handsome enough.  But there was one particular guy that she said seemed the right man for marriage.  He had all the qualities except one – the guy lacked ‘drive’.

She wanted a guy that had drive.

Now, that was interesting because, as we reflected on the guys ‘lack of drive’, we couldn’t help wondering that this guy was a medical doctor and was aspiring to travel abroad to make some money.  I wondered out loud how possible it was for someone to accomplish what the guy had if he lacked drive!

And as we explored the guys so called ‘lack of drive’, we discovered that this was actually the one quality that she wanted the most in a man!  After all, wasn’t she also looking for a man that would allow her to be herself and continue to participate in her ministry? In other words, a man that wouldn’t mind her pursuing her own dreams – a quality she inaccurately described as lack of drive?

At the end of the day, all of us, and particularly the lady in question, realized that this guy was exactly what she was looking for!  She couldn’t recognize the fact because of her misunderstanding of the concept of ‘drive’.

To attract the right man for marriage, you must clearly understand exactly what it is that you want in a husband.

#6.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must avoid unrealistic, and utopian expectations.

Most ladies are unable to attract the right man for marriage because their expectations are unrealistic and utopian.

This is often as a result of a lack of understanding of what exactly it is that you want.  The lady in our discussion above actually had this problem too.  When she brought up the subject of drive – which by the way, as we found out, meant someone with a vision and passion to accomplish that vision – we pointed out to her that any man that possessed that quality she called ‘drive’ would not allow her to be herself and remain in her ministry!

In fact, it was that very quality she desired in the right man for marriage that this guy had – and she called it ‘lack of drive’!

In essence, her problem was that she wanted someone that was not in existence – a man who had drive (who was passionately committed to his vision), but who lacked ‘drive’ (who would accommodate non-commitment to that vision from his wife)!

Of course, she eventually realized that the guy actually had drive, or else he would not have gone through the rigors of medical school and was planning to expand his economic prospects by moving out of the country.

So her misconception of the meaning of ‘drive’ created in her an expectation of an impossible man!  This resulted in a form of blindness that prevented her from knowing that her dream man was already in her life.

In order to attract the right man for marriage, avoid unrealistic, conflicting, paradoxical, and utopian expectations.

#7.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must comport yourself with dignity.

Mind your signals.

Only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Become aware of the signals you are sending out.  Don’t send the wrong signals. Desperation, for example, comes through in non-verbal communication.

How you package yourself affects the kind of people that you attract.  For instance, there is a way you dress and you begin to send the signal, ‘I’m cheap…I’m available.’  Consequently, you begin to attract irresponsible and promiscuous personalities, in spite of yourself.

So be very careful about the kind of signals that are emanating from  you.

The issue of how you package yourself is therefore of paramount importance if you must attract the right man for marriage.

If you package yourself appropriately, you’ll begin to attract the kind of men that are compatible with what you want.

#8.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must move into the right ‘habitat’.

To attract the right man for marriage you must think about it this way: if you want to get a shark, where do you go to?

If you want to get a tiger, where do you go to?

So you must realize that where you are matters as far as who you attract is concerned.  It is easier to attract a shark in an ocean, than a tiger!

Lots of ladies don’t attract the right man for marriage because they are in the ‘wrong’ habitat.

To attract the right man for marriage, be in the right environment.

Decide what kind of person you’re looking for and put yourself in a target-rich environment.

If, for example, you’re looking for a man who loves the Lord, go to places that such people flourish.

And if you’re not looking for a drunk, don’t go to a bar to meet someone!

You must position yourself strategically if you want to attract the right man for marriage.

#9.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must develop the capacity to discern the ‘seed’ of the harvest.  

Life is ruled by the law of seed and harvest.

A lot of young ladies know exactly what they want in a man.  If you think of what they want as a ‘harvest’, you cannot help but wonder how many of them would recognize that harvest when it shows up on ‘seed’ form!

It is possible that you have been attracting the right men for marriage, only that they are coming in their ‘seed’ form.  In this case, the problem is that you are unable to discern the harvest in the seed.

Cultivate that powerful ability to recognize a guys potentials to be your dream man, even before those potentials become visible!

#10.  To attract the right man for marriage, you must never be quick to jump to conclusions 

Lots of ladies are simply not attracting the right men for marriage because of presumptuousness. They are very quick to jump to conclusions about the men that they meet.  They make judgments from far and often superficially.

It is possible that the qualities you want are actually present in the man, albeit potentially.  It is possible that these qualities are being beclouded by situations and circumstances.  In this case, it will require a more discerning and deeper examination to bring them to light.

So, be slow to jump to conclusions.

#11. To attract the right man for marriage, learn to go after what you want!

Research shows that so many ladies just wait for their dream man to come along without them even trying!

Some times the best way to attract the right man for marriage, is to go after him!

Smart ladies often go after what they want.

#12.  To attract the right man for marriage, cultivate a pleasant personality

To attract the right man for marriage, make out time to meet people – be more available.

Look at your life and ask yourself if you’re leaving time to meet someone.

Would someone have to throw himself on the hood of your car to cross paths with you and get your attention?

You might also want to check out this post:
3 Common Sense Keys To Attract Mr. Right

Download our App


newest oldest
Notify of
Osondu Ashiegbu
Osondu Ashiegbu

Thanks for sharing…

Our inability to discern the harvest in the seed is one of the greatest challenge we face not only in marriage but in life generally.

Great stuff usually start small.

nelly
nelly

” U attract who u are ,not what u want ” law of attraction statement is not true in my case and many other kind, gentle ,loving ,hardworking ppl., like myself. I know of women just like myself who desire a stable marriage but only get players ! Tell me why is this, if u can explain why I’m only getting players and I am not a player !!!!

dera eze
dera eze

nice article! thank u!

nelly Arikpo
nelly Arikpo

Very enlightening & excitng insight.I luv dis,& I encourage u 2 kip up wt dis.U dnt hav an idea d enormosity of joy & benefits ur work has brought in2 d singles life. God bless u.

tracy
tracy

Ok, I have to say…..I am already married. I have a daughter, who although is far from the “marrying age”, will bebifit greatly from this article. She has been throguh a lot in her short lifetime….and therefore has very specific ideas of what she does and doesn’t want from/in a man (Boy at this point). I am going to give her this and have her read the steps and tips. It is so true that how you present yourself, attracts a very specific type of person, not always the type you want or need. Amazing insight, nicely spoken from a man’s perspective. Thank you….